Euro Debt Crisis - The End Game for the Euro

The Euro debt crisis is increasingly resembling the film Groundhog Day, without the comedic relief, of course. Every time the European leaders appear to devise a long-lasting, concrete set of solutions for the crisis, they are immediately discarded as insufficient by the markets. The latest attempt of a compromise at the G-20 summit in Cannes, France resulted in an agreement to set aside more money to recapitalise the troubled European banking sector (which have taken a hit with the partial default in Greece and the increasing uncertainty around the currency), and increasing the effective capacity of the European Financial Stability Fund – the bailout fund established in 2010 - to €1 trillion (although this will be achieved through leveraging, which does not mean that the amount is immediately available). German attempts to get funding from so-called BRIC countries to help shore up the EFSF was unsuccessful, presumably because these countries do not wish to contribute to helping maintain the high living standards that Europeans have come to expect, and for which they seek to emulate.

These measures, however, have done nothing to reassure the markets of the sustainability of the Euro, with Italy paying a record high of 6.5% interest on 6-month bonds on November 25^th – an increase of nearly double of what was paid the previous month. Even more incredibly, the only country that was thought to be immune from the Euro crisis, Germany, failed to sell all €6 billion in 10-year bonds, with the Bundesbank being forced to purchase 40% of the bonds. In addition to these worrying developments, the bond yields of Eurozone countries are creeping ever upwards, forcing speculation of bailouts for Spain, Italy, and even France. The impracticality (most economists would say impossibility) of such bailouts for the giant economies of the Eurozone has sped up the search for an ultimate solution – to reach some kind of end game for the Euro.

It is obvious now to many commentators the previous dogma which stated that the cause of the crisis was simply due to over-spending, lazy continental economies was overly-simplistic, and did not acknowledge the great advantage of the Euro to the big economies – particularly Germany. Although Germany benefited hugely from the introduction of the Euro, Chancellor Merkel is reluctant to contribute her fair share for the saving of the currency. Instead, a German attitude to fiscal matters is being demanded of all countries in the Eurozone – particularly within the PIIGS countries – with the proviso that Germany may shoulder some burden in the future.

The political consequences of this attitude have been highlighted many times in the media, with new technocratic, ECB-friendly governments being appointed in Greece and Italy (without any general elections, it must be added). The political crisis in Greece appeared to be intensified by the Franco-German threat that it could be thrown out of the Eurozone, if it does not play by their rules. Although this threat could have been construed as a poker play by Merkel and Sarcozy to shore up Greek resolve for austerity, it backfired spectacularly and caused further turmoil to the already fatally-damaged regime of George Papandreou.

The gravity of the situation is being underlined by European leaders, with many linking the fate of the Euro to that of the whole European Union. EU President Herman Van Rompuy had previously said - "If we don’t survive with the Eurozone we will not survive with the European Union.". Nobody expects short-term changes like beefing up the EFSF, or appointing different governments in Italy and Greece to really solve the crisis, and there are wildly different ideas on how to go about it. The primary solution to this day has been for fiscal stability – cutting spending and increasing taxes, as well as privatisation. While some may view this exercise as essential for indebted nations, it can also be argued that this course of action has seriously depressed domestic demand, and caused the economies in Greece and Ireland to deflate, which then requires harsher fiscal measures.

A more long-term option available for policy-makers is for the establishment of Eurobonds. This has been proposed by the European Commission and remains a viable, though controversial, option. Although the eventual make-up of Eurobonds is highly disputed, the main premise of them is that the 17 members of the Eurozone jointly issue a government bond, with a single bond yield for all countries. This would lower the borrowing costs for risky, high-debt, high-yield economies such as the PIIGS countries, as well as speeding up the re-introduction of the bailout countries into private bond auctions. However, it would also increase the costs for low-risk countries such as France and Germany, and a trade-off of closer fiscal integration would be an inevitable prerequisite for this measure.

An increasingly likely option which is being pushed by Merkel and Sarcozy is for tighter supervision of national budgets, with severe penalties for countries that break specific targets. This is aimed at preventing another Greek case of a country spending way beyond its means, as well as increasing market confidence in the Eurozone. There is a sense of déjà vu with this proposal, however, as it resembles the previous Stability and Growth Pact – which Germany and France broke numerous times in the past. To counter this similarity, it is planned that the European Court of Justice would be given powers to ensure that irresponsible governments are punished should they go beyond the set criteria. Although this move would be welcomed by several European governments, it would almost definitely requires Treaty changes, and it is hard to see how these could be passed at the hands of the Irish people.

And finally, there is the spectre of a nightmare solution – the break-up of the Euro itself. This is the scenario that everyone dreads, but which increases in probability for every day in which European leaders dither. The only certainty is that a final solution to the Euro sovereign debt crisis will be fraught with more political-wrangling, back-room negotiating - and will require a genuine sense of compromise.

Ageism - of who?

Last weekend I was in Dublin to attend a national meeting of Labour Youth (why these meetings can never be held outside of the Pale I don't know, but that's another story).  We drove from Cork (in only two hours it has to be said) and took the Luas from the Red Cow park and ride facility to the city centre.  On the way in, I couldn't help but notice that on every stop there were posters highlighting the issue of ageism.  A worthy cause, no doubt.  The recent controversy over the pension levy on private pensions, as well as these posters, made me stop and think about the whole issue of ageing.  The more I thought about it, the more I realised that the public discourse on this issue is dominated by the question of looking after older people, and that another form of ageism is being obscured – the obstacles facing young people.

   Hear me out.  Young people are in an age group which is most at risk to a whole plethora of dangers, some social and some economic.  These include a much higher risk of depression and suicide, emigration, psychological disorders such as self-harming, bulimia and anorexia, unemployment (unemployment amongst young people is around 20% on the last count, against a national average of 14%), road deaths and STIs.  While some of these dangers are due to naiveté and ignorance (such as speeding or not using contraception), the vast chunk of them are due to wider societal and economic factors and attitudes.  There is no doubt that there are massive challenges for older people, and I do not seek to belittle these hardships.  However, I believe that at the moment in Ireland there is an attitude amongst some of the media and politicians, as well as the general public, which is entirely dismissive of young people and their talents.  This is the first generation of young people in decades which will have a worse standard of living than their parents.  Positive coverage of technological innovation or charity work amongst young people is overwhelmed by negative headlines concerning young hoodlums, unresponsible teenage mothers and excessive boozing (or sometimes all three together).  Of course all these stereotyped characters exist, but that is why a stereotype is a stereotype – they are rarely true.

  I believe the best time to be a teenager in Ireland was probably in the early noughties.  The Celtic Tiger was roaring, registration fees for third-level education were negligable and someone was spoiled for choice when it came to jobs.  Some Celtic Cubs even got cars and holidays for their birthdays as a matter of course.  During this time, the middle-aged professional classes were mortgaging their childrens' futures by buying second and third houses at highly-inflated prices.  These property gambles have now of course been proven to be reckless, and who is going to foot the bill through NAMA? The taxpayer, and more specifically, the younger generation.  While I'm sure that most middle class taxpayers bought homes in good faith, thinking that the price was only going to go higher, they must share a portion of the blame for the collapse.

   Evidently the blame (or even the majority of the blame) is not exclusive to mortgagees – the banks and politicians were the ones who fostered and encouraged this culture of greed and recklessness.  Ireland became a moral wasteland in which wealth and status were seemingly all that mattered to people.  What do all these major actors have in common?  They are all middle-aged.  Of course, this is nothing to be ashamed about.  But what really annoys me is that those in charge of our economy, and our wider society, seem to have forgetten to have empathy with those that are different to themselves – this includes the elderly, the poor and young people. 

  For example, the first cutbacks in the education sector were not aimed at those in administration or the highest earners - they were aimed at cutting the number of special-need teachers, as well as steadily raising the registration fee, so that now it is a tuition fee in all but name.  Grants for disadvantaged students have been slashed, and funding for worthwhile capital projects have been put on the long finger.  University presidents demand for third-level fees to be re-introduced, adding a further financial burden to already struggling students, while they themselves are pocketing six figure salaries, and in some cases, claiming six figure expenses.  The minimum wage was cut by 13% with the questionable objective of boosting employment, while all it would have done is further hammer the lowest-paid and students.  The moral hypocrisy amongst the elite in our republic absolutely stinks.

  So basically all I'm asking for is a public debate which is not sensationalist and looks to seriously assess who is being hurt most by this economic depression.  Most retirees have their mortgage payed off.  The state pension has doubled in the last ten years.  There is no doubt that elderly people are in danger of being overcome by financial worries, but in my opinion, no more so than any other age-group in the country.  Meanwhile, the retirement age for those under 50 was raised from 65 to 67, with it later rising further to 68 years of age.  While this change is vital because of increasing life expectancy and the state of the public finances, it is another measure which will hammer younger generations.  Indeed, the lack of coverage this measure received was surprising to me considering its importance in the future. 

   But of course, that is just the problem with Irish society at the minute.  We are only concerned about the here-and-now.  Guarantee all the toxic debts of the banks and leave it to the next generation to pay off this debt.  Slash the education budget and forget about the consequences.  It is this kind of short sightedness which has gotten us to this current predicament and an impulse we must shed in order to avoid another depression of this kind.  However I believe that if anyone can discard that viewpoint, this generation of young people can.

The Queen's Visit

            For all the so-called republicans who are protesting against the Queen's visit, forgive me if I am misinterpreting your opposition. Maybe you are against the idea of an unelected head of state and the outdated notion of monarchy.  I'd definitely be sympathetic to this point of view, as a democrat myself.  But that must not be your reason, because I didn't see any protests against Prince Albert of Monaco last month.  Maybe you think that the Queen is responsible for the massacres perpetrated by the British Army during the Troubles ? No again, because it's obvious that the Queen has no say in where British troops are deployed.  Maybe you are against it due to financial reasons – but although the cost is projected to be around 30 million euro, the benefits with regard to tourism and image is estimated at five times that figure.

            So I think I'm getting to the crux of the issue when I say that the tiny minority against the Queen's visit are against it due to things that happened 100 or even 800 years ago.  Due to the Good Friday Agreement, and the subsequent power-sharing agreement in Northern Ireland, I think it's safe to say that that particular area of disagreement has been put to bed.  To say that 'republicans' in the South have a chip on their shoulder against the English is an understatement.  What is clear when you look at history is that the strongest relationships between nations depend on a certain element of forgiving and forgetting. Germany and France exchanged State visits between their countries in 1961 – a mere 16 years after the German occupation of France and the horrors of World War 2.  These countries formed the European Union in order to ensure such horrors never happen again, through a co-operative dialogue and a true sense of solidarity. (As we all know, the European Union has veered clearly from such worthwhile goals, but that's another story)

            What fringe groups like Eirigi and Republican Sinn Fein, and more mainstream radical republicans must realise is that republicanism should convey ideals and goals of a nation, rather than mere anti-Britishness.  In many ways Britain has emulated worthy republican goals like solidarity, equality and liberty, far more than this Republic. It was the first country to establish a welfare state, it is host to great institutions like the BBC, and is home to millions of people of Irish descent, as well as emigrants from the current recession, economically betrayed by the 'Republican Party' in Ireland.  Of course, the British political system also contains an outdated House of Lords and monarchy, but it is not up to us to decide how heads of state who visit Ireland should be elected.  I will be the first to admit that the British have made many horrific and barbarous mistakes in Ireland in the past – from Cromwell to the Famine to the various Bloody Sundays.  As hard as it must be to apologise for something that happened when you weren't even born, that's exactly what Tony Blair (for the Famine), David Cameron (for Bloody Sunday) and the Queen (by laying a wreath in the Garden of Remembrance and visiting Croke Park) have all done.

            What is clear is that this country has never been a republic in its true sense – we escaped from being a dominion of the British Empire, to being a dominion of the Vatican, to worshipping the all-knowing power of the markets during the Celtic Tiger.  Due to the recession, there is a great opportunity to establish a proper Republic which instills a sense of civic responsibility to its citizens, as well as providing everyone with equal opportunities from birth.  I have been impressed by the restraint of Sinn Fein with regard to the visit of the Queen.  Of course, everyone is entitled to their opinion (that's the cornerstone of a republic), but they have not inflamed tensions, and they must be congratulated for that.  I have a lot of respect for Sinn Fein, and it is clear that in many ways they are now the de-facto Republican Party in the Dail.  I would hope that they use this position to steer away from the cultural, almost exclusionary. republicanism they have been engaged in the past, towards a more holistic view of republicanism – in an economic sense, as well as a political one.

            We have been in this situation in the past, in the 60's and 90's, where we were in a position to invest in the future of country in a meaningful way. and we squandered such opportunities.  I really think this time it will be different.  Of course, it will require serious action by the Government, including the transfer of a majority of schools to the State, serious investment in education, and a change in the cirriculum.  These measures would help wrest the notion of republicanism away from the anti-English crowd, to a meaning that is true in every sense of the word.  In that way, we may be able to welcome the centenary of the 1916 Rising knowing that the ideals and sacrifice of Connolly and all those other patriots were not in vain.

Musings on the election

I was never one for good timing, and the fact that this general election is happening while I'm on Erasmus says it all really. Even though I'd much rather be at home experiencing the action rather than gazing from the side-lines, it definitely makes for an interesting spectacle catching up on all the news through the Internet (and BBC Radio 4, as its the only English-language radio station I can pick up on my shitty 8 euro LW Radio). However, I'm not foolish enough to wish that this election was being held in September so that I could chip in, as God knows what the Government would do in that time to further fuck up the country.

This is the first election in Ireland to fully utilize the Internet and social media (the fact that I'm giving my opinion on this blog kind of gives that away). Even though I am several hundred miles away, I can still catch up on all that happens on the campaign trail, which is a testament to the digital media revolution. I can read what crazy people think about it all on that hot-bed of grumpy old men on Politics.ie. I can read the so-called 'expert opinion' articles on the Irish Times website (though I take whatever Noel 'Former-Candidate-for-Fianna-Fail' Whelan says with a pinch of salt). I can watch the debates on Primetime or Vinnie Brown using the online players of RTE and TV3. I can guage the reaction to those debates on Facebook (not a big fan of Twitter to be honest). Though online forums in particular can be dragged into hyperbole by keyboard warriors, digital media will undoubtedly lead to a more informed election campaign, as people unsure of each party's policy can just download these documents at the click of a button.

That's enough about the technology – what about the politics of the whole thing? From watching the coverage of the first few days of the election, it seems to me that each party are pitching radically different messages to the electorate. Fianna Fail are basically saying that the others will be worse than them (Lenihan in particular has comically tried to deny that he said just one year ago that this country had «turned the corner») and their only policy so far is the IMF-manufactured 4-Year Plan – so much for the 'Republican Party'. They are hoping that the mere presence of Micheal Martin will convince the public that they have turned over a new leaf, with nothing to back this up. Their whole strategy has been to criticize every other party, but offer nothing of their own.

It's fairly obvious that Fine Gael are trying to play to their strengths – bring out the perceived heavy hitters like Micheal Noonan and Leo Varadkar, hide Enda as much as possible for the duration of the campaign, and highlight their shiny policies (which contain more of the neo-liberal economic illiteracy that has gotten us into this mess in the first place, like privatisating the ESB). The fact that their support has gone up while Enda was nowhere to be found seems to bear this hypothesis out. Their unique selling point (probably the only thing I remember from my marketing module) is the fact that they are realistically the only party that could achieve an overall majority, though it is extremely unlikely.

Of course I'm biased, but from a policy and ideas point of view, Labour have started most impressively in my view. In the past few days they have been releasing a policy paper every day – some are obvious ones, like the economic plan released last week. However, others are less obvious, but important in their own right, such as the broadband plan released last week which aims to roll out Next Generation Broadband in order to attract investment, as well as the Green Jobs paper (presumably trying to tempt the majority of Green voters from last time that feel they have been sold out by the Greens in government). That's without mentioning important upcoming policy papers, like the Education policy and a revamped Health policy. There has also been important updates in other regards, such as the iPhone and Android app (the only party to have one) and a much better looking website (the old one was a nightmare).

And despite all this, Labour haven't amazed in the first week – mainly due to personnel problems. I don't put too much weight on polls, but there is definitely a trend of losing votes to Fine Gael, and a revival for Fianna Fail can't be ruled out. The main reason for this stagnation in my view has been the sub par performances of some Labour reps such as Roisin Shortall, and more infamously, Joan Burton on Vincent Browne. Of course, there have been many more impressive media performances that outnumber the bad ones, but the media never pick up on this (UCC alumni Alan Kelly in particular has been impressive and he could yet follow in the footsteps of Dr Noel Browne by getting a Ministry in his first day in the Dáil). There has also been stupid faux pas which should just not happen on the election campaign (Pat Rabbite comment about the Fianna Fail lassies springs to mind). I still think the Labour Party is capable of getting up to 50 seats in this election, but more work needs to be put into the message that we want to get across, and in that regard the debates (no matter what format they end up to be) may very well be crucial.

Looking at the rest of the parties – the section that Micheal McDowell disparagely called the left-overs – it is obvious that Sinn Féin are going to do well, and may triple their seats on current levels of support. They are playing the role of angry outsider well, and Pearse Doherty's appointment as Finance spokesperson before the Budget was an inspired move. Doherty is eloquently venting the ordinary person's anger at the Government as well as highlighting the perceived closeness of the three main parties. Despite his high opinion ratings, I think Gerry Adams is the Achilles Heel for Sinn Fein in the South – not through his colourful history in the IRA (noone cares anymore), but through his lack of understanding of economics, in the South in particular. His media appearances have been far from assured, and they will try to wheel out Doherty as much as possible. Nevertheless I expect Adams to win a seat in Louth. Overall, I'd like to see Sinn Féin do well, as I'd definitely be more of a fan of their economics policy than the Blueshirts. The previously ridiculed prospect of Sinn Fein being in Government by 2016 is a very likely one, in my view.

The Greens should face facts - they are going to be wiped out, in the Dáil at least. It's going to be a question of getting rid of John Gormley, admit they made a mistake in going into Government with Fianna Fail, and seek to re-establish itself as a viable party of the Left, rather than Fianna Fail's whipping boys. Overall I do think they had a handful of successes in Government (Civil Partnership being the most important one) and Eamon Ryan seemed to be a decent minister who thought outside the box, but the price to pay was too much for them.

Concerning the United Left Alliance, I don't think it's outside the realms of possibility that they will win 6 or 7 seats, but the most realistic is around 3. The measure of their success will be determined by how 'united' they actually appear, as the micro-Left are notorious for their in-fighting. Sometimes I think their vehemence towards some parties, Labour in particular, stems from personal anguish rather than overt political differences (Joe Higgins still hasn't gotten over being kicked out of the Labour Party).

That's my view from the start of the campaign anyway, I'm sure it's going to change regularly between now and February 25^th. My foremost hope for the election is that a Left-Right divide actually takes place in Ireland – better (90 years) late than never.

Back in Paris

I've been back in France for a month, but in my mind it seems like a lot longer. When I had my head buried in books last April and May, I would never have thought that 3 weeks back in Cork would constitute a holiday! However, it's hard to put a measure on the importance of the small pleasures in life, and previously forgotten treasures like fry ups and a roast dinner made my stay in Cork all the more enjoyable. It may sound clichéd, and even soppy, but the thing I had definitely missed the most over the previous four months in France were seeing my friends and family (especially the dogs!) There was a lot of catching up to do and unheard gossip to digest – sometimes online chat just doesn't do some things justice.

Just before I headed back to Cork for the Christmas break, a few friends came over to visit and experience the sights of the City of Lights. It was a great distraction from the exams I had a few days earlier - which amazingly I passed, despite losing most of my notes - and it was refreshing to do some of the touristy stuff, which I was not able to do beforehand because of college (the most striking thing about my stay in Paris so far is how different the experience is actually living here, rather then just spending a few days on a break – there's not many strolls by the Seine, instead there's studying books in the bibliotheque). Anyway, my apartment consists of one bedroom which is just under 10 m2, so it was quite a tight squeeze for the four of us! During those five days the obligatory visit to Disneyland was undertaken. The whole park was caked in a layer of snow and it brought out the child in all of us (this included barraging the unsuspecting people on the Thunder Mountain rollercoaster with a volloy of snowballs – they did not appreciate this). We also visited the breath-taking château in Versailles, and a snowball fight and making snow angels in the gardens of Versailles was really an unforgettable experience.

I didn't want to raise the issue of politics in this diary again, because with the general election campaign firmly under way, I'm sure all of you are sick of it (bar the political hacks, in which I include myself). However, I have to bring up a subject that particularly affects me personally – the issue of being able to vote from abroad, which is currently not available to any Irish citizens, besides Defense Forces and diplomats. In so-called developed countries, the right to vote is one of the most basic and fundamental of rights and it is robbed from every Irish citizen who cannot be present at their polling station on the day of the election, no matter how legitimate their reason is. It is fairly evident that this country makes it a lot more difficult than most to excercise the right to vote (having to register before a certain date instead of it being automatic, normally holding elections on days which ensures that the majority of students can't vote) but it is this practise which I find the most inexcusable.

Why should I be robbed of my vote when I am expanding my horizons and furthering my education abroad? Why should I be deprived of my voice when I am fulfilling a necessary requirement of completing my degree? When this Government's actions have hammered students, and young people in general, out of total proportion to any other group in society - why am I not able to do my patriotic duty in throwing out of power the worst government in the history of this State?

This is not even mentioning the plight of the growing number of mainly young people emigrating to other countries due to the economic negligence of those in the Dáil (projected to be 100,000 in the next two years). It is twistingly ironic that the very people who have been failed most by this State cannot excercise their right to exact their revenge. Perhaps it is a part of Fianna Fáil's electoral strategy that these voices will be silent in the most important election of our generation. The most depressing reality is that the 'grey' vote of that party, cynically the only group not affected by the savage cuts of Budget 2011, and many with an inbred ignorance of anything other than Civil War politics, will ensure that Fianna Fáil live on after the election - and that the young people of Ireland will continue to suffer.

Guide to being a Parisian

Having lived in Paris for 5 months now, you really get a feel for the place – and its people. Of course, even if you have lived here for 5 or 15 years you can never claim to a true Parisian – excuse the cliché, but that requires a certain je ne sais quoi. Therefore, I've decided to make a list of things which it seems is obligatory for all Parisian femmes et hommes.

• When in public, don't even dare to smile – particularly on public transport, the severity of your pout determines how Parisian you are. Visual disdain when English is uttered gives you extra points.

• Huge «nerd» glasses are so chic right now – you have to wear them. Don't worry about the little fact that you have 20-20 vision, that's what clear glasses are for. In Paris it's cool to be not cool.

• Whether you're paying for a new Gucci dress on the Champs l'Elysee or a bottle of milk for 80c, it is standard that you pay with a card. Notes and coins are used by savages.

• It is a little known fact that in Paris there exists an actual fashion police. Showing up for college in hoodies and fat man pants warrants 2 years of being shunned and ostracised. Wear Penneys gear at your own peril.

• If you work in a bank or the civil service you must make sure that everything is as complicated as possible – bien sûr it's a sure-fire way of keeping your job (I found this out to my detriment when trying to set up a direct debit with my landlord for the rent – never again!)

• Don't want to go into work on Monday morning after a weekend of too much vintage wine and fine cheese ? No problem – just call a strike !

• Say 'en fait'. A lot.

• Upon hearing a person is from Ireland, ensure that you make a joke in bad English about France giving us a bailout so that us Paddys can continue to booze like there's no tomorrow. (When you try to explain that the money is actually going to French and German banks, and not to the Irish public, you will be met with a bemused silence)

• You have no problem paying €10 for a single vodka in a club, or €7 in a pub for a pint of beer.

• Guys must dress as camp as possible – all gaydars in Paris are rendered obselete.

• Trafic lights are merely advisory – follow them and you're not guaranteed to get to the other side in one piece (Seriously, sometimes both the pedestrian and car lights are green at the same time – does not compute)

• Can't understand a question from a stranger, or you just don't like the look of them? Just say you're a tourist! (This tactic has saved me from a few pickles in my time here)

• If you're a Parisian guy in a bar and you start chatting to the opposite sex for more than one minute, then you have a reasonable expectation that you'll be getting lucky tonight. On this not happening, you will be outraged.

• When ordering at a bar, you think that waving your hands frantically and/or verbally abusing the bar staff will get you served more promptly (at least in my experience working in a bar over here)

• Wear black – all the time.
  
  
• Upon realising that the person you are talking to isn't fluent in French, reply in worse English

• You continue to follow Paris St Germain in football in the vain hope that they will finally win something. (Sure what choice do you have – they are the only football team in Paris!)

• The French custom of kissing your friends twice on the cheek (bisoux) can be sometimes fatal to a budding friendship if you aim for the wrong cheek, accidentally nearly taking part in the other very French custom – the French kiss.

• When someone drags up the topic of Thierry Henry's handball, you will state loudly your disgust at the incident and the unfairness of it all. (Of course, in private you believe it's what the boring Irish connards deserved)